


Beneath Me | Kylo Ren

by Elemissy



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Dominant Kylo Ren, F/M, Fanfiction, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Redemption, Masturbation, Non-Consensual Spanking, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Romance, Slow Build, Spanking, Starkiller Base
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:42:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23964070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elemissy/pseuds/Elemissy
Summary: Kylo Ren. Calling him an enigma may be dramatic but not entirely wrong, and if you didn’t call him that you would at least call him a bit of a dick. Between him and General Hux, it seemed that Starkiller base was full of too many men who thought they were better than everyone else. On this, however, Lucia may be proven wrong yet.Explicit content Chp 4 >(Disclaimer)I do not own Star Wars, or any of its characters - all of which belongs to Disney and Lucasfilm.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 44





	1. Chapter 1

I felt safe. I sighed. Safe and warm. The air felt cold and cooling on the red flush of my cheeks, the rest of my body cosy under the comfort of my sheets. Sheets? _Oh_ , sheets.

Reluctantly I peeled my tired eyes open to see the steel underside of a bunk bed, _my_ new bunk bed. I slowly lent my head to my right and was greeted with the uninviting grey walls and cold floor of my new room. The sheets became heavy, inviting me to stay for just a few more seconds. I wanted to, I _really_ wanted to. By the time I’d arrived last night, found my room and got into bed as quietly as I could it was way too late to get any good sleep. 

Checking the clock next to me I realised I still had about an hour and a half before I had to report to command. Maybe a quick nap wasn’t such a bad idea. I settled in again, closing my eyes and listening to the movement coming from above me. Until that is, a torrent of black curly hair followed by a round face with two kind brown eyes flopped down from the bunk above.

“Hello,” she said, I couldn’t see her mouth, but I could practically feel her welcoming smile.

“Hey,” I murmured sleepily, lazily opening my eyes while my brain rushed to prepare for meeting someone new.

“Didn’t realise I was getting a new bunkmate so soon. Welcome to Bunk 126!” she chirped happily.

“Thanks, it’s-um-lovely,” I replied, trying to sound convincing, to both myself and her, when in reality the room was just a steel metal box with some furniture. The bunk was pressed against the left side of the room, the other sides furnishing consisting of a mirror and a dresser. At the end of the room was a semi-transparent door with the bathroom necessities of a toilet, sink and shower. I really hoped the shower wasn’t shit.

“So what’s your story,” she asked, breaking the silence that I didn’t realise we had descended into.

“My story-like where I’m from?”

“Yeah, sure – It’s what you always ask when you meet new people,” I looked up at her, still hanging over the bed, really not sure what to say, “it's not like I get a surprise new bunkmate that often.”

“Oh, really there’s no point.” Honestly, it was completely uninteresting and I didn’t want to come off as boring.

“Come onn.” She pleaded and while I didn’t want to disappoint her I also didn’t want to be unfriendly. I gave a lacklustre stretch and then looked up.

“Umm -sure,” I said with hesitation, “well I’m originally from Corellia, umm- well that’s where I grew up umm- and from there I went to the First Orders Academy to train to be a pilot buut umm-well that didn’t work out sooo I got set as a technician instead, trained for that, and then well here I am- uh yeah- my second job as a Command Technician.” Well done, _really_ coherent.

She contemplated for a while before saying in mock astonishment, “Wow. You’re right - that really was boring,” and while she wasn’t exactly wrong, I had no idea what to reply to that. Luckily I heard a small snicker and then she burst out laughing, probably at the pitiful look on my face and I couldn’t help but join in slightly.

“I’m joking – of course- sorry. Similar to me really but I guess we all get here the same way,” and then a hand awkwardly fell down beside her and she smiled, “I’m Alysha by the way, Alysha Qyten.”

I grabbed it quickly and did my best to give a firm but friendly handshake.

“Lucia Bray” I answered back.

Her eyes crinkled with a hidden smile as she lifted her hand back up and raised herself from her position, disappearing from view, “Great! Well. I’m gonna shower.”

I didn’t think I had the time or the energy to shower and so I accepted my second day hair, tied it up and took out my clothes. While the First Orders Academy had much less privacy than this I still rushed to get changed before she came out of the shower.

The uniform fit surprising well, it looked smart and was dare I say flattering in the mirror. We can definitely work with this. The uniform consisted of a smart fitted grey collared shirt with a matching set of grey fitted trousers, a large leather belt with a silver cusp pulling at my waist. I brushed and tied my hair into a smart low pony, my brown locks resting midway down my back. Smart shoes and a grey hat completed the ensemble, even if I thought the hat was a bit much.

0615\. Still, nearly hour before I had to report to command, I couldn’t arrive that early could I?

“Well don’t you look nice,” Alysha said exiting the bathroom, still wearing the towel from her shower. I looked down smiling, trying to hide my awkward discomfort at the genuine compliment, “I bet you’ll be Hux’s new favourite.” and she laughed. General Hux. I was really not looking forward to meeting him.

“What’s he like?” I asked inquisitively, confident that this wasn’t going to be a good answer.

“Oh yanno – awful- just- just awful,” she said, grimacing at her own words, “rude, patronising, the list goes on. Thank the gods I don’t have to work for him.” 

_Lucky you_ , I thought. I still didn’t know how I’d managed to get a position in the Command Centre, but I would more than accept this promotion. “He’s still not the worst though.” She added.

I turned around, looking both inquisitive and worried.

“I mean yeah he’s awful but he’s not _bone-chilling terrifying_ ” she said, coming up close behind me and fake shivering. I laughed.

“Who…”

“Commander Ren, of course.” Oh. Of _course_. I’d heard stories about him obviously, about what he’s done, what he does. How he slaughters those who dare to resist the First Order. How he hunts down force users before they could ever grow to be a threat. How he was a _monster_.

“Well, it’s not like I’ll meet him though, right?”

“I hope not. I mean I’ve only ever done one shift in Command and he was just arguing with Hux for most of it,” She sat on my bed thinking, “it’s not like he’d concern himself with us anyway.”

True. I hoped so. After my last work situation, I really wanted to get on my bosses’ good side, but after this conversation I’m not really sure he has one.

“How come you got moved here anyway?” She asked.

“Sorry what?” I replied, still lost in thought about how much shit I already knew I was gonna have to take for this job “Oh- well honestly I had a bad breakup and my boss hated me and there was no real reason left for me to stay so I asked- ” Glancing at the clock I saw it was 0630 already. “Fuck I need to go.”

She followed my gaze, looking up at me “Don’t worry it doesn’t take that long to get there.”

“I’m sure it doesn’t but I just haven’t gone there before and what if I get lost and I lose time or someone stops me and I need to help them and then I could end up late and I reeaally don’t-”

“Okay okay, it’s fine. Gimme two and I’ll walk you there,” she said, “and if anyone tries to interrupt us I promise I’ll punch them” she laughed out and I smiled and let out a huge breathe. Had I not been breathing? Thank the gods for this woman.

The walk was somewhat calming and I enjoyed seeing more of the base, as in about another tenth of it because this place was fucking huge. Ridiculously huge. As we walked further the corridors got much busier, stormtroopers and officers all pacing on their way to who knows where. After climbing way too many steps and turning down way too many corners it appeared like we were finally here.

“Through that door there,” she pointed at the largest and nearest door, “And you’ll be fine.” She smiled and placed a hand reassuringly on my shoulder. She moved to go but suddenly pulled me in for an unexpected but appreciated tight hug.

“Have a good day, don’t get into too much trouble.” And we both laughed, I could feel my shoulder relax at her words.

“Thanks Alysha.” I smiled back; I would have literally been lost without her.

“Aly, please.” And with that, she left.

The doors to Command looked uninviting, two huge slabs of black steel standing between me and my new job. And I was terrified, had I said that already? I gathered up my courage and took a step forward, ready for my first day. Oh. _Oh_. But the doors didn’t open. I stepped back and forward again but nothing happened. Fuck well this really might be an issue. I looked to the corridors on either side but the once busy halls were now empty. Fuck fuck fuck. It had already taken a while to get here, now I’m definitely going to be late what would I even say? _Sorry I’m late sir I just couldn’t open the fucking door._ Perfect, just the first impression I wanted.

“Are you having some trouble?” a voice behind me said. Ah great, probably a new co-worker. And now I look stupid. I turned around nervously laughing.

“Yes, sorry I…” To say I was shocked would be an understatement. Stood only meters apart from me was a tall figure wearing a threatening black mask, his body engulfed in layers of black with a large heavy cloak resting on his broad shoulders. _Shit_. I didn’t know what to say. So instead I decided to stare at him like a fucking idiot and say nothing.

He looked down at me, “Clearly there aren’t teaching you at the Academy like they used to.” And with that he swept past me, cloak billowing behind him as he walked through the door.


	2. Chapter 2

_Oh_ well, now the door wanted to work. But more importantly. Fuck. That was Commander Ren. _Commander Ren._ I had just made one of the most important men in this building think I’m an incapable idiot. Perfect. 

I decided to deal with that embarrassment later and I left my dignity at the now-functioning door, making my way into Command – better late than never.

The place was huge, rectangular in shape, protruding out of the main base with an impressive view of the vast snowy landscape outside. Underneath the glass panes on the outer walls sat huge desks lining both the upper, middle and lower sections of the room – I really wanted a desk by the window. There were two other doors leading out of the room, one straight across from me and the other to my right which had constant flurries of people coming in and out.

Compared to my old job where I was lucky to see more than five people a day this was different. _Very_ different. But different was good, I reminded myself, we came here for a change after all. 

I couldn’t see where the Commander went but I could see a tall willowy redheaded man in the centre looking somewhat important. That must be General Hux. There really wasn’t much to say about him. While he had sharp, handsome-ish feature it was ruined by his constant sneer. He was wearing a uniform similar to mine but black with a smart coat over his shoulder, similar actually to the cape of Commander Ren. _Gods_ lets not think about him again. 

General Hux was talking to an officer when I got the courage to go up to him and introduce myself. 

“General Hux.” He turned to me, looking me up and down before he dismissed whoever he was talking to with a wave of his hand, “I’m technician Bray, I transferred this morning.” 

“Yes. I have been waiting on your arrival,” he looked down at the datapad in his hand “you are to be my new assistant,” now looking at me directly, “I have heard good things from Hako so please don’t turn out to be a disappointment.”

A what? An assistant? He’s got it wrong. “General I umm - apologise but I’m a technician, I was told-“

“Yes, you said. But I don’t need a technician I need an assistant and so that, that is what you shall be.” He smiled, smugly, before turning and walking off towards the left door. I guess I should follow.

We turned left then right and through another set of doors before we made it to his office. It was large, probably 5 times the size of my room, but the black tiles and black furniture made it look smaller. The wall to my left was completely glass, showing off the same impressive view as Command. Two uncomfortable looking sofas sat opposite each other near the windows, various tables and cabinets filling the edges. He smiled, resting a hand on the desk as he admired his space.

“I know, it is quite marvellous.” 

_Yes, it was_ but you don’t have to be such a dick about it. He then sat down at his desk, not looking up at me but at the large screen taking up most of the workspace.

“Come here.” he beckoned me over, motioning me to sit at the seat across from him. He looked at me now, staring _into_ me, the kind of stare that makes you want to disappear. 

He looked down at the screen again, before picking up two datapads next to him and reminding himself of their content. I sat patiently. For five, maybe ten minutes I sat still waiting for him. I would have turned around to look at the time on the huge mechanical clock above the door but I felt too awkward to move. Still reading. For goodness sake _how_ …

“Take these and deliver them to Captain Lowry,” He held out the datapads for me and I politely took them, still having no idea where these were meant to go. I didn’t want to ask and anger him, but I really don’t know where to go. 

“Sorry Sir but where-” 

He looked up from the screen on his desk, irritated, “Hanger 3,” he snapped. Why is everyone so annoyed all the time.

I left and made my way back to the Command Centre looking for someone who looked friendly enough not to shout at me when I asked for directions. After stopping multiple approachable looking people I finally made my way there. 

The Hangar was enormous, bustling with activity, the sound of the engineers at work reverberating off the huge steel walls. The ships didn’t look like the usual TIE-Fighters I’d flown but specialist ships, I hadn’t longed to be a pilot more. I could be in there right now, if I wasn’t such a coward.

I hurried up the stairs to the office overlooking the Hangar but I realised I still had no idea where I was meant to go. There seemed to be no one ‘Captain-looking’ and every else looked busy. I’m just going to have to find my own way. 

The area was similar to the Command Centre in layout, albeit much smaller. Logic told me that the office might be in a similar place to Hux’s and so I went with that. Following left then right I found myself waiting outside another set of doors for the second time today. Should I knock? Can you hear a knock through solid metal anyway? Should I just walk in? But what if I’m interrupting him? 

While again contemplating the life choices that brought me to this position, I hear for the second time today an electric voice behind me.

“I thought after the first time you would have figured it out.” Fuck. _Again_. I turned around slowly, unsure of how to explain that I wasn’t actually stupid but luckily, I didn’t have to since the doors whirred open behind me. 

“Commander Ren. And?” I turned back again and found myself quite close to who I guessed was the Captain. 

“Captain Lowry I presume” I smiled politely, “I have these datapads from General Hux for you to sign.” He regarded me for a moment, lost in thought. He was a handsome looking man, neat grey hair, kind eyes and a friendly smile on a strong jaw. 

“Captain Lowry indeed, a pleasure to meet you.” Apart from Alysha, this is by the far the friendliest person I’d met, I shook his hand gladly. “Why don’t you both come in.”

He made his way back into his office, completely unfazed by my obvious interruption – I’m glad not everyone here is so irritable. He sat behind his desk as Commander Ren and I silently stood watching him go through the pads. 

With an almost inaudible sigh, Commander Ren gracefully sat down in the chair opposite the desk. 

“All signed.” He said gleefully handing me the datapads as I awkwardly tried to manoeuvre myself around the large desk. 

“Thank you” I returned “Enjoy the rest of your day,” not really sure of the right thing to say and made my way out the door.

That wasn’t awful, he seemed _nice_. I could hear Captain Lowry start talking but when I turned the corner before the door shut, I was sure I saw Ren turned looking at me.

Right _well_ , I’ve learnt my lesson now. No more waiting outside of doors. 

The rest of the day went by in a blur of getting lost and delivering datapads. I think when Hux said I was going to be his assistant he meant delivery boy. Great. My parents would be so proud.

By the time I found the mess hall I was completely exhausted and my body disregarded any anxious thoughts of having no one to sit with. We’re too tired to deal with that shit right now. The food was _okay_ , even though I wasn’t exactly sure what I was eating.

I made my way back to my bunk, again with lots of getting lost in the middle, and with a quick shower and brushing of my teeth, I fell asleep instantly. Well almost instantly. I couldn’t help but cringe again over meeting Commander Ren today, twice! _Oh_ well, now the door wanted to work. But more importantly. Fuck. That was Commander Ren. _Commander Ren._ I had just made one of the most important men in this building think I’m an incapable idiot. Perfect. 

I decided to deal with that embarrassment later and I left my dignity at the now-functioning door, making my way into Command – better late than never.

The place was huge, rectangular in shape, protruding out of the main base with an impressive view through of the vast snowy landscape outside. Underneath the glass panes on the outer walls sat huge desks lining both the upper, middle and lower sections of the room – I really wanted a desk by the window. There were two other doors leading out of the room, one straight across from me and the other to my right which had constant flurries of people coming in and out.

Compared to my old job where I was lucky to see more than five people a day this was definitely different. _Very_ different. But different was good, I reminded myself, we came here for a change after all. 

I couldn’t see where the Commander went but I could see a tall willowy redheaded man in the centre looking somewhat important. That must be General Hux. There really wasn’t much to say about him. While he had sharp, handsome-ish feature it was ruined by how he constantly looked as if could smell something vulgar. He was wearing a uniform similar to mine but black with a smart coat over his shoulder, similar actually to the cape of Commander Ren. _Gods_ lets not think about him again. 

General Hux was talking to an officer when I got the courage to go up to him and introduce myself. 

“General Hux.” He turned to me, looking me up and down before he dismissed whoever he was talking to with a wave of his hand, “I’m technician Bray, I transferred this morning.” 

“Yes. I have been waiting on your arrival,” he looked down at the datapad in his hand “you are to be my new assistant,” now looking at me directly, “I have heard good things from Hako so please don’t turn out to be a disappointment.”

A what? An assistant? He’s got it wrong. “General I umm - apologise but I’m a technician, I was told-“

“Yes, you said. But I don’t need a technician I need an assistant and so that, that is what you shall be.” He smiled, smugly, before turning and walking off towards the left door. I guess I should follow.

We turned left then right and through another set of doors before we made it to his office. It was large, probably 5 times the size of my room, but the black tiles and black furniture made it look smaller. The wall to my left was completely glass, showing off the same impressive view as Command. He smiled, resting a hand on the desk as he admired his space.

“I know, it is quite marvellous.” 

_Yes, it was_ but you don’t have to be such a dick about it. He then sat down at his desk, not looking up at me but at the large screen taking up most of the workspace.

“Come here.” he beckoned me over, motioning me to sit at the seat across from him. He looked at me now, staring _into_ me, the kind that makes you want to sink down. 

He looked down at the screen again, before picking up two datapads next to him and reminding himself of their content. I sat patiently. For five, maybe ten minutes I sat still waiting for him. I would have turned around to look at the time on the huge mechanical clock above the door but I felt too awkward to move. Still reading. For goodness sake _how_ …

“Take these and deliver them to Captain Lowry” He held out the datapads for me and I politely took them, still having no idea where these were meant to go. I didn’t want to ask and make him mad but I really don’t know where this Lowry is. 

“Sorry Sir but where-” 

He looked up from the screen on his desk, irritated, “Hanger 3,” he snapped. Why is everyone so annoyed all the time.

I left and made my way back to the Command Centre looking for someone who looked friendly enough not to shout at me when I asked for directions. After stopping multiple approachable looking people I finally made my way there. 

The Hangar was enormous, bustling with activity, the sound of the engineers at work reverberating off the huge steel walls. The ships didn’t look like the usual TIE-Fighters I’d flown but specialist ships, I hadn’t longed to be a pilot more. I could be in there right now if I wasn’t such a coward.

I hurried up the stairs to the office overlooking the Hangar but I realised I still had no idea where I was meant to go. There seemed to be no one ‘Captain-looking’ and every else looked really busy. I’m just going to have to find my own way. 

The area was similar to the Command Centre in layout, albeit much smaller. Logic told me that the office might be in a similar place to Hux’s and so I went with that. Following left then right I found myself waiting outside another set of doors for the second time today. Should I knock? Can you hear a knock through solid metal anyway? Should I just walk in? But what if I’m interrupting him? 

While again contemplating the life choices that brought me to this difficult conundrum, I hear for the second time today a mechanic voice behind me.

“I thought after the first time you would have figured it out.” Fuck. _Again_. I turned around slowly, unsure of how to explain that I wasn’t actually an idiot but really just concerned on making a good impression - luckily I didn’t have to since the doors whirred open behind me. 

“Commander Ren, I’m glad you could make it. And?” I turned back again and found myself quite close to who I’m guessing was Captain Lowry. 

“Captain Lowry I presume” I smiled politely, “I have these datapads from General Hux for you to sign.” He regarded me for a moment, lost in thought. He was a handsome looking man, neat grey hair, kind eyes and a friendly smile on a strong jaw. 

“Captain Lowry indeed, a pleasure to meet you.” Apart from Alysha, this is by the far the friendliest person I’ve met, I shook his hand gladly. “Why don’t you both come in.”

He made his way back into his office, completely unfazed by my obvious interruption – I’m glad not everyone here is so irritable. He sat behind his desk as Commander Ren and I silently stood watching him go through what I’d brought. 

With an almost inaudible sigh, Commander Ren gracefully sat down in the chair opposite the desk. 

“All signed.” He said gleefully handing me the datapads as I awkwardly tried to manoeuvre myself around Ren’s large figure. 

“Thank you” I returned “Enjoy the rest of your day,” I said, not really sure of the right thing to say and made my way out the door.

That wasn’t awful, he seemed _nice_. I could hear Captain Lowry start talking but when I turned the corner before the door shut I was sure I saw Ren turned around at me.

Right well, I’ve learnt my lesson now. No more waiting outside of doors Lucia. 

The rest of the day went by in a blur of getting lost and delivering datapads. I think when Hux said I was going to be his assistant he meant delivery boy. Great. Wouldn’t my parents be proud, I really have made it.

By the time I found the mess hall I was completely exhausted and my body disregarded any anxious thoughts of having no one to sit with. We’re too tired to deal with that shit right now. The food was _okay_ , even though I wasn’t sure what it actually was.

I made my way back to my bunk, again with lots of getting lost in the middle, and with a quick shower and brushing of my teeth, I fell asleep instantly. Well almost instantly. I couldn’t help but cringe again over meeting Commander Ren today, _twice_! Both time leaving him thinking I was an idiot who couldn’t open doors, but the need for sleep quickly caught up with me. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this chapter makes it sound like its a romance with General Hux but it's really not. Or is it? 
> 
> No it's definitely not.


	3. Chapter 3

“Morning!” said a hazy voice, lightly disturbing me from my dreams before I sunk back down again. 

“You don’t want to be late!”

My eyes opened instantly, my heart racing at the mere thought of being late. Fuck. I won’t even get to use ‘it was my first day’ as an excuse. I propped myself up quickly, hitting my head on the top bunk, ow.

“Gods are you okay?” She asked, slightly concerned.

“I’m fine” I tried to reassure her, and myself, “I just can’t be late today.”

“Yeah - _sorry_ , you actually have a while I just -well I just got impatient.” 

Oh. Oh, thank the gods. My hands rubbed my face and my eyes in relief, my head still hurt though. 

“That was a dick move,” I said, but with a sleepy smile on my face. 

“Sorry! But – well I got you breakfast!” she said and she held up a bluish bread roll covered in some kind of orange sauce, “It’s great I promise.” 

She placed it in my reluctant hands before heading into the bathroom, the sound of rushing water following not long after.

I looked at the clock next to me. 0604. I had time. I unplaited my still slightly damp hair and brushed it carefully, the loose waves falling onto my shoulders. I smiled at myself, pretty good. I don’t think I saw anyone wearing their hair down yesterday but so what?

I am proud to say that I made it Command with most of my dignity left intact this time, being extremely careful not to linger outside any doors.

Hux wasn’t there when I arrived so I sat on the sofa by the window, counting the drops of falling snow. It was calming, I made a mental note to find my own place with a view. A few minutes later the door opened, I sighed in relief.

“Good morning Sir I-” however I wasn’t greeted by Hux but Commander Ren. 

He seemed confused, like me, by the lack of the General and turned to leave until he spotted me on the sofa, his look lingered. “Where is he?” he asked.

“Um- I’m not sure he wasn’t here when I got here?” I replied politely, “you can always wait here-“ but before I could even finish he walked out the door again. _Rude_. 

105, 106, 107 – it was more than just a few minutes before the door opened again but this time it _was_ General Hux. Who knew I could be glad to see him? He looked annoyed and I could only guess that he had also run into Commander Ren this morning, same. 

He saw me lounging on the sofa, “What are you doing?”

“Sorry Sir I-“ 

“I don’t care, you wait by my desk for me in the morning,” he commanded, with a hint of tiredness.

“Yes Sir.” Who was I to argue? 

I stood by his desk as he went through his usual routine. I stood waiting, for at least thirty minutes, until he finished.

“Drop these two at Command,” he said, pilling the datapads one by one into my struggling arms, “this one to Lieutenant Ficer and the last one to Commander Ren.”

“Yes Sir.” 

Day two as a delivery boy here we go!

I managed to hand over everything with ease apart from the last one to the Commander. I had no idea where he was or where he could be? Did he even have an office? 

As luck would have it on my way back to Command, I spotted a cloaked figure out of the corner of my eye in Hangar 3. _Found him_. He looked like he was preparing his men to leave, I needed to be quick before he left. As I made my way over I couldn’t help but admire the ship, it wasn’t particularly large, but its design was unlike anything I had ever seen. The ships wings pointed upwards at its sides, almost to attention, and the sleek main body was octagonal in shape. The whole ship was a slick black constructed of smooth-edged steel bolted together in an unsolvable puzzle.

Datapad in hand I mentally prepped myself, well as much as I could with the headache I still had from this morning. I could see that I’d caught his attention, he was stood at the ramp now, watching me walk over.

“I’ve been waiting for you.” He said and I resisted not doubling back. For me? What could he want from _me?_

He looked at me confused and then down at what my arms were cradling “The datapad, I mean.” Oh. _Oh_. Of course, why did I have to make that so weird? 

I handed it to him, and he took it offering nothing in thanks and turned to leave. 

Before I could even stop myself, my inner pilot betrayed me, “Your ship is incredible,” I said, “I’ve never seen anything like it.”

I tried not to sink into the ground.

He stopped, back still turned, thinking over what I’d just said before he carried on walking to his ship. Nice one Lucia. 

I mentally bashed myself - why was I trying to be friendly anyway? But in my defence, it really was an impressive ship. I made my way off the Hangar, the ship roaring to life behind me, and walked back to Hux’s office, my delivery duties for the day only getting started.

Luckily, or maybe not so, I spent the afternoon transcribing documents. It was boring but it beat having to walk around the base AND he let me go early. 

The mess hall was full, I was much earlier than yesterday and also much less tired, the thought of eating alone now gave me anxiety. 

“Lucia!” someone shouted. I recognised the cheery tone instantly and turned to see Alysha sat on a table nearby. This woman was constantly saving my life. 

I sat down quickly, making sure the seat wouldn’t get taken, and we chatted and caught each other up on our days – well as much as you could chat about nothing. Halfway through eating my, well who knows what it was, two boys sat down across from us and said their hellos to Alysha.

“This is Mika, by the way,” she said, gesturing to the pale blonde hair boy sat across from us “and Kirk,” the smaller dark-skinned boy next to him. 

“Hi! It's umm -nice to meet you!” I said and they both smiled. Mika held out his hand to shake, which I did. 

“So what do you do here…?” He paused - I realised he was waiting for my name.

“Lucia.” 

“Nice name.” he smiled; he was definitely very charming – but maybe too much. 

“Well - I’m actually Hux’s assistant,” I said, my voice gave no hint of pride in the title but both boys looked shocked. 

“As in THE General?” Mika asked back curiously, “I didn’t even know he had one.”

“Yeah – well – yeah it’s not that great really, I basically just do menial chores.”

“But still - you’re working for the General, that’s important.”

Alysha interjected, “You’ve never actually met him, Mika, he’s a dick.” 

“One of the most important dicks in the First Order though.” He quipped back and I laughed, I guess he wasn’t _wrong_. 

Both boys were nice, and it was definitely good to know more than one person on base. Mika was friendly but his quieter friend Kirk was good company too. They both worked together as engineers under Captain Lowry, who I explained I’d met.

When the natural conversation died down and we resumed eating in silence Mika took a large breath, clearly prepping to say something important.

“Have you heard where Commander Ren and the Knights have gone?” he exclaimed excitedly and we all lent in, unsure if this was secret information, “apparently after some stormtroopers who’ve been informing the Resistance!”

We gasped; Mika seemed pleased. 

“Why would they do that?” Kirk asked, confused. I agreed, The First Order was ruthless, you were only asking to get yourselves killed. 

“Money, power you know what the Resistance is like. You’ve heard about their plot on Tritpo.” 

I had actually, I’d spent most of the day writing about it. As well as my other numerous and _very_ important tasks I also help Hux with his daily broadcast. Every day, around midday, he makes announcements about the war, the treacheries of the Resistance, etc and today it had been on their plot to destroy the Tritpoians. 

“If I was them, I’d be scared shitless,” Alysha said, “I’ve said it before but - Commander Ren is terrifying.” She finished the last of her drink.

“He’s rude is what he is.” I couldn’t help but blurt out, I definitely had some pent-up annoyance about this guy. 

“You’ve met him?” Kirk asked.

“I’ve spoken to him - sure,” I said, not exactly thrilled with the memories of our meetings.

“Umm, when did this happen?” Alysha exclaimed.

“Yesterday – and this morning. One of the perks of the job I suppose.” 

“and what did he say?” both Mika and Alysha said in unison, both too interested to notice. 

“He um- made a comment about doors its um-difficult to explain.” 

“Doors?”.

“Just that I’m too stupid to open a door – it’s difficult to-” 

“He did what?” Alysha said, more loudly than I would have liked, “what a dick.” 

I agreed. The rest of the meal was mostly uneventful, but I felt good leaving knowing that I’d met two new people. The evening was relaxing, although Alysha wouldn’t stop talking about how she thought Mika ‘liked’ me, even though I insisted he did nothing of the sort. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is getting a bit scandalous, slightly.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning of a little bit of solo sauciness at the end :)

The next week was a blur - there were a lot of deliveries, a lot of notetaking and most of all a lot of shit from Hux. I’d like to think that he’d started to like me but I’d only be lying to myself. Not that I was exactly fond of him.

At least he wasn’t completely irritated by my presence anymore. And I could live with that. Still, I really believed that he should learn some manners.

Speaking of men with attitude problems I hadn’t seen Commander Ren in days, not since he was at his ship. Maybe he was still hunting down those rogue stormtroopers or whatever Mika was talking about. It didn’t bother me that I hadn’t seen him anyway, I get enough abuse from Hux, but he did intrigue me.

“Have you finished?” said a voice, breaking me out of my thoughts.

“Yes Sir, I’m just reviewing what I’ve written.” I replied back, hoping he hadn’t caught me so obviously staring out the window.

“Really, because it looked to me as if you were daydreaming.” Okay, so he had. I got up, tentatively, and made my way over to the desk placing the pad on the-

“Don’t bother, I need you to take that to Captain Lowry - urgently.” And with that I was out the door and on my way to Hangar 3.

No matter how many times I went into the Hangar it still amazed me. There was a quicker route but I liked the long way, plus I could say hi to Kirk and Mika. It always made me think, how different things could have been if I hadn’t been a complete let down and made it as a pilot. How _very_ different.

In my gaze I noticed something familiar, Commander Ren’s ship – he’s back. On the outside it looked as glorious as ever but clearly something had gone wrong. A startling number of engineers were rushing in and out, some taking off large damaged panels. Strange.

When I got outside the Captains office I stopped, I could hear him talking and I really didn’t want to interrupt. Maybe I could come back when he’s not busy. _But_ , Hux said it was urgent and now Commander Ren is back I didn’t want him to see me waiting. Fuck I’ll just do it, plus Lowry has been nothing but kind so what’s the worst that could happen.

The door opened at my presence and I was about to announce myself when I saw a troubled looking Captain Lowry at his desk and someone I couldn’t quite see in the corner.

“GET OUT!” Ren shouted. Unsure with what to do I hurriedly placed the pad on the floor, gave a worried look up to the captain and scurried out. He didn’t have to tell me twice.

No one liked to be shouted at but something about Commander Ren’s yells were much more terrifying, like they really carried threat. I needed to stop bumping into him when he’s angry. Is he ever not though?

I was on my way back to Hux when I heard footsteps behind me, thundering footsteps, but I carried on walking – _its fine_ I reassured myself.

“Stop.” A voice called, a voice I instantly recognised. I’m just going to keep walking and hope he means someone else.

“I SAID STOP!”

I hesitated to take another step when I heard footsteps right behind me and before I could move a force held me in place and spun me around. He was barely an arm’s length away, wearing his usual black robe and cloak – clearly he hadn’t had a change of style while he was away.

“You stop when I, your Commander, tells you to stop.” He seethed.

“I apologise I didn’t realise-“I offered back but he didn’t let me finish, a force closed at my throat and I struggled helplessly for air.

“I don’t care.”

He got close to me now and leant down slightly, not being able to see his face made the act a lot more unnerving. I was still struggling to breathe.

“Tell your _General_ ,” he spat, “that his clever little plan didn’t work.” And with that he let me go. My hand instantly went up to my neck, massaging the tension as my shoulders relaxed and I slumped against the wall for support. It was a few minutes before my breathing returned to normal but the dull ache from his hand remained. 

General Hux didn’t enjoy hearing the news as much as I enjoyed receiving it.

“What do you mean ‘didn’t work’,” he asked, in a tone of both annoyance and worry.

“I’m not sure Sir, those were his exact words.”

“And you didn’t think to ask?” he replied, I decided not to mention that he had choked me.

“He didn’t let me-he stormed off before I got the chance.” I pleaded back, please don’t make this my fault I thought. He sighed, a frustrated sigh, one you make when you know it was you who fucked up. 

“You’re done for the day.” And with that quick dismissal he got up and left.

Normally I would be more than happy to finish early but on Starkiller there wasn’t an awful lot to do. Back to my room I suppose. I wondered back, unsure of how to pass the time and laid on my bed. All alone _huh_. I haven’t had the room to myself since I’d been here. Well - I know what I’d usually do at my old base but now I shared a room with someone, she could literally walk in at any time. _But_ she shouldn’t come off work for at least another hour.

 _And_ I’d had a difficult day so I really owed it to myself to do something nice, or at least _feel_ something nice. With that being all the encouragement I needed I stripped down and pulled on my night top, getting under the warm covers as quickly as I could. My head relaxed against the pillow, my neck still ached from earlier and my eyes felt heavy. I closed them.

Slowly, extremely slowly, I moved my hand down across my stomach until it felt the smooth fabric below. My hand hovered for a second, both fearful of someone walking in and excited at what was to come. My fingers went further down, gently moving over the thin fabric of my underwear. I could feel I was wet, really wet but I suppose it had been waaay too long. While one hand teased myself through the fabric the other snuck up into my top, massaging my breast through my thin bra. Before long I could feel the tension leave my body, slowly evaporating from my pores as I fell into a pleasurable hum. Bliss.

Deciding that I was much too excited, and with too short a time to savour this any longer, my hand delved further into my underwear, stroking, until I slowly began to circle my aching clit.

My mind wandered to the last time I had sex. Fuck. Olle - fucking _Olle_. Even after I found out he’d cheated I couldn’t help but fuck him one last time, hate fuck him actually and by the gods was it good. His hand around my throat, his cock filling every single inch of me as he rammed me against the wall. His hand wrapping tighter and tighter and tighter around my neck causing me to melt into an ecstasy of pleasure and pain. Fuck. _Fuck_. I had hated him, I still hated him and maybe he had even hated me but there was no denying that it was good. Sooo so good.

I hadn’t realised how quick my movements had become, my back was arching and my breathing was rapid. I was so close. But no. _no_. I refuse to cum one more time to that asshole.

I slowed down now. Someone else. Think. To be honest he had been my only sexual experience which didn’t give me much material to work with. That didn’t matter though, I thought, I’ll make something up – I’m sure I can come up with something kinky to think about.

My first thought went to General Hux but that was a dark path that I didn’t want to go down, even if his overly large desk did give me certain thoughts.

Mika? He was nice _and_ good looking but also uninspiring, I really struggled to have any thoughts about him – I doubt he would fuck me passionately, a hand around my throat. Choking me hard. My neck pulsed with the memory of the Commanders hand around my throat. Fuck - _Commander Ren_.

Fuck. Really? Earlier I had been much too scared to be any sort of aroused but _now_. Well _now_ I wanted him to push me up against the wall and fuck me so hard the whole base could hear us. Fuck. That’s it. My fingers rubbed fervently now, my hand pinched my nipple hard as my breathing got ragged and my eyes squeezed tight thinking about his thick cock thrusting into me, crushing me against the wall – using me for his pleasure. He was still an asshole in my fantasies.

Fuck. Fuck. The feeling almost became too much, I thought my body could break. My hand wrapped around my throat as my legs shook with release, I felt ethereal – transcended into another dimension of pure pleasure. I removed my hand when it became uncomfortable, my breath trying to catch up with me but failing.

What a sight I would be if Alysha came in.

A few minutes passed.

In this post state of bliss it had become quite clear of what a mistake I’d made – I’d definitely not be able to look at him in the same way again. I need a shower – maybe I can wash this off me. Doubtful.

I’d showered and changed into my nightclothes when Alysha came in, looking weary – she clearly had the same kind of day as me.

“You okay?” I asked, offering her a gentle smile.

“Shit day,” she replied immediately, “I just want to shower, get into bed and not think about it.”

“Okay.” I said but I went up to her and gave her a hug anyway.

She hugged back tightly and then went straight into the bathroom. All I could think to suggest was for her to masturbate, it really helps.


	5. Chapter 5

Whether day or night Starkiller is always busy, it quite literally never sleeps. There’s constant construction, maintenance, ships coming and going and even into the night, there are always people around. I don’t think there’s a quiet place here. 

Well, that’s what I thought until a few days ago. To my surprise, I found that if you sneak out a certain exit near Hangar 3 and go up a floor then there is a perfect _me_ _sized_ ledge that comes with a view of the snowy dunes outside. Completely secluded. I’d found it while trying to track down Captain Lowry one morning and it has become a favourite spot of mine.

I was there again today, seeking peace and quiet to collect my thoughts before work. My hair was down for a change, reflecting the bright sun through the window as I gazed at the falling snow outside. I’d never felt drawn to nature but the thought of being somewhere that wasn’t just four steel walls sounded unbelievable. When I finally walked to Command, I felt refreshed and ready for the day. 

Upon arriving I realised I wasn’t the only one, General Hux seemed in a particularly good mood too. When I placed his morning cup of coffee on his desk, he gave me a pleasant thank you, a thank you?! This was going to be a good day.

I did my usual routine without any issue, I’m fairly sure I heard him humming, when he said, “I’m in a very good mood today”, and smiled. Not his usual villainous smirk but a smile? 

However, before I could even reply the door opened and before I could see him I could hear the loud footsteps of his boots. He looked no different than I remembered from my thoughts a few nights ago. Nope! Let’s not think about that again.

“What is it, Ren?” Hux asked, “and if you’re here to tell me about tomorrow I already know, Snoke told _me_ ”.

I’m sure I would have seen Ren’s eyes roll if he weren’t wearing a mask, the two seemed to be in constant competition, always trying to outdo the other. Since I never had any siblings, I always imagined that this was what having brothers was like, but perhaps they were a tad more emotionally damaged than most peoples. The Commander then noticed me, and I couldn’t help but blush slightly. No matter how many times I showered it was clear that I wouldn’t get that image out of my head for some time. 

“Actually, I’m here to discuss the-,” he looked at me dubiously,”-prisoner.” Hux’s eyebrows creased in response before he got up from his seat. His former cheery disposition now slightly ruined. You bastard Ren.

“Have this done before I get back,” and was out the door before I could even ask what he meant. 

It took me until the afternoon to have everything done and delivered. The base seemed busier today, more stormtroopers than usual walked the halls and I saw Captain Phasma more than once organising troops. Whatever was happening tomorrow was going to be something big, I wondered if it had something to do with the weapon they were developing. I’d never seen it but I’d recently seen some of the blueprints and Hux had told me before that it was going to change the war. What kind of weapon would be powerful enough to do that?

When I made my way back to the office Hux was in his seat again, unperturbed by my returning. Before I could stop myself, I had to ask. 

“What’s happening tomorrow, Sir?” 

He regarded me for a second, probably debating whether to tell me anything before saying “We’re landing on Brentaal IV in the morning,” with a hint of his glee from earlier, “finally.”

“Oh,” I replied, not sure why this Brentaal was so important.

“It’s not an _oh_. We’ve been planning this attack for months, gathering intelligence, deploying spies and now we finally have the chance to destroy that Resistance _scum_ right in their little hideout.”

Oh. Well, I guess that was good? Alysha and Mika were always asking me about what was going on, but I was hardly told much more than them, I don’t think anyone was. I knew extraordinarily little about the war or its goings-on but what I did hear told me that the destroying the Resistance would be good, so I guess I was pleased. 

It was two days later before I saw Hux again, he was off base helping to coordinate the attack. Not that he told me, he just said to make sure everything was in order for his return. I can’t say I wasn’t at least slightly resentful that I wasn’t going with him, isn’t that what assistants are supposed to do?

I hung out with Mika and Kirk at the Hangar a few times, I think they liked the change of company and I liked pretending that I was a pilot. Alysha felt better, she finally told me that the other day she’d knocked into Commander Ren and he’d yelled at her. I completely empathised. Just because I may or may not have had certain lewd thoughts about him, in a terrible moment of weakness, it didn’t stop me thinking he was an asshole. 

Still – I couldn’t help but think – nothing had even happened and I was flustered by the mere thought of it, I need to stop acting like a silly blushing girl every time I see him. I need to get my shit together.

When Hux finally came back some days later he was in another good mood and again I counted my prayers. Hopefully, Ren won’t come in and ruin it, although I thought he might still be off base which I wasn’t mad about. 

“The invasion went well?” I asked, not coming off as disinterested as I wanted to – I couldn’t hide my curiosity. 

“ _Very_ well.” Was all he replied as he busied himself at his desk and I sat down on the sofa ready to start. I should have savoured those days off more. 

After his daily broadcast it was clear that the invasion had in fact gone _very_ well, so well that apparently, we’d cleared them off the planet for good. I was busy writing up the transcriptions from earlier when the doors opened and a stormtrooper walked in, looking lost and slightly timid, well as timid as you could with that suit on. 

Hux looked up for a second. “Talk to my assistant, I’m busy.” I guess that was my cue.

I approached him while he stood awkwardly at the door. “For General Hux,” he said, and he passed me a small blaster, leaving as quickly as he came. A blaster? It was pretty looking, for a gun at least, intricate patterns were carved into its metallic sides with red petals painted on the barrel. I’d never seen Hux with a weapon before and it hardly looked like his style. 

I went up to the desk to give it to him, but before I could even speak he shushed me with a “wait.” So I did. 

As I was standing next to the desk, awkwardly holding the gun by my side, the sound of the door opening broke the silence along with the presence of the Commander. He strode into the room, purposefully loud, but Hux didn’t even give him a glance. Ren looked at me before doing a double-take at the gun by my side.

“I see you’ve gotten yourself a new bodyguard Hux.” He said sarcastically.

The General gave an overly fake chuckle and I ignored him, this time. He looked up at the Commander, “Well, aren’t you funny today.” 

Never one to not have the last word he said, “She looks about as good with a gun as you are.” Oh - well now it was personal. 

“I’m pretty sure I could at least take _you_.” I shot back. He seemed stunned that I’d dared to answer back and so was I. Hux smirked but still carried on with his work. Hey, don’t get any ideas, I didn’t say that to defend you. For some reason, my anger and annoyance at his rude and selfish behaviour seemed to have really built up these last few days. 

“And what exactly is an ‘assistant’ going to do?” he smirked.

Huh. He thinks he has me all figured out doesn’t he, the fucking nerve. “I trained as a pilot actually, so I would shoot you,” and then emphasising my next words carefully, “right. Into. That. Overinflated. head.”

Oh, I’m _dead_ but by the gods, that felt good. Hux couldn’t contain his laughter and Ren’s fists couldn’t scrunch any tighter. By the racing of my heart and the lump in my throat, it was clear I already wished I could take back what I’d said. I have a feeling I might really regret this. My head started to throb, and I raised a hand to my temple. 5 seconds with this guy and I already had a stress headache. 

After a few seconds of nerve-wracking silence Hux said, “As entertaining as this is some of us have work to do, so did you need something Ren?” 

The Commander didn’t reply at first but continued to stare at me, that is until I couldn’t match his stare any longer and I looked down at the floor. I’m sure that if I wasn’t next to the General right now I would be dead, or close to. Maybe being his assistant did have certain perks.

“Supreme Leader Snoke wanted to speak with us,” he said, now directed at Hux, “immediately”. Probably just from hearing the word ‘Snoke’ my boss got up, almost scrambling to his feet and left the office in a hurry. 

Commander Ren turned to follow behind but before he left he stopped at the door, turned around and said: “Yes, you will”.

I’m sure I didn’t move a muscle for a couple of minutes, comprehending what he’d just said, by which point he was long gone. What was _that_ supposed to mean? I tried to busy my thoughts with finishing up some work but the pit in my stomach never left. When Hux came back to the office and sent me on some deliveries I was constantly checking behind me, nervous around every corner. It was one thing for him to be angry with you, to yell at you and for it to be done with. It’s another thing to have that threat hang over you for the rest of the day.

Was he going to kill me? By the end of the day, I was honestly rationalising the thought of whether the next time seeing him would be my last. Yes okay so maybe it was a bit rude but surely, _surely_ not. This is exactly why I need to keep my mouth shut.

All through dinner and right until I was laying on my bed trying to get to sleep, I was thinking about it. I guess he might choke me to death and honestly that wouldn’t be the worst way to go. He could slice through me with his lightsaber though, and that is not a pretty picture. 

But really - what could he _actually_ do to me?


	6. Chapter 6

“Would you join me?”

In my sleepy state, I’d managed to bump into Captain Lowry on the way to breakfast and he’d been friendly enough to invite me to eat with him. I’d never seen him, let alone spoke with him outside of work and I had no idea what we would talk about. It was too early for any meaningful conversation but, I could handle some small talk. 

“I haven’t seen you eat here before,” I said as I sat down. He placed down his tray, being careful not to spill the bowl of oats.

“Yes well, I don’t often get up early enough.” 

I gave a small laugh in return, I’m glad we agreed that having breakfast before nine was a challenge.

“So - how are you finding it,” he ate a spoonful, “being Hux’s assistant?”

“Boring,” I replied back truthfully. 

It wasn’t exactly the career that every girl dreamed of if you could even call it a career. I’m not sure that the chance of promotion was remarkably high either, what was I going to do – replace Hux himself. But there were definitely worse jobs, the pay was quite good and my life was never at risk, well as long as I didn’t anger anyone too much. 

“I have to be honest with you,” he gave a charming smile, “I did find myself curious as to what makes someone qualified to be his assistant, and - well I was shocked to see you’d originally trained as a pilot.”

Oh no. I hated this conversation, it always made me feel like such a failure. 

“Yes well,” I forced a laugh, “piloting just didn’t work out for me.”

He finished off his oats and regarded me while I picked at the bread roll that I still hadn’t eaten. The thought of flying brought back too many unhappy memories. 

“You were top of your class,” he rested his head on his hand inquisitively, “it’s a shame.”

I couldn’t agree more that it was a _shame_ , I really had trained my whole life for something that I ended up being incapable of doing. It wasn’t just a shame actually, it was embarrassing. I’ll never forget the face of my training officer when he told me I was being transferred. 

“It definitely was,” I replied, trying not to sound too bitter. 

He took a large sip of his juice while I proceeded to completely destroy the bread roll I’d decided I wasn’t hungry for. It wasn’t his fault for bringing it up but honestly, I felt slightly ill thinking about it all. 

“I need to go, I um can’t be late for Hux,” I said finally. He said a kind goodbye before I dropped off my tray and walked out of the hall. 

After my ‘run in’ with Ren yesterday I was more than happy to be spending the day hidden away transcribing, I knew he wouldn’t do anything with the General there. My day was turning out to be like any other, the morning routine was its usual bore and Hux’s few days of good moods seemed to have ended as quickly as they began. He did tell me that the gun belonged to a Resistance fighter though, why he wanted it was a mystery, but I knew that was all I would get out of him. 

Hux had also spent some of the time complaining about the Commanders recent outburst and it was almost too obvious how jealous he was. While Hux was both ambitious and powerful he would never have the same presence as the Commander. The way people literally cowered before him, me included, only happened rarely. And after yesterday I was definitely ‘cowering’ more than usual, not that I’d seen him since.

 _Yes, you will_? What does that even mean? Fuck. I looked down and realised I’d collided with a small droid; I could feel a bruise already forming on my leg. Fuck. Not only that but I realised that by not paying attention I had also decided to go the long way back to Command. Great, Hux will not be happy with me being late back from lunch. I’d managed to steer myself back on the route when all of a sudden, I saw him. He was gone in an instant, a black blur passing down the corridor in front of me. Instantly my stomach dropped. Maybe I _will_ take a long way. I turned back on myself, trying to resist the urge to run; I didn’t want to see him so quickly after yesterday. I told myself I’ll be fine, there’s no way he saw me.

That didn’t last long. Before I had walked for more than a few steps I could hear storming footsteps behind me. Fuck. Not _again_. Why does he have to have such long strides, my pace can’t even hope to beat his. I quickened my steps, it's fine it’s probably not even him I reassured myself. By the time I’d realised I’d made a mistake in walking back into some of the quietest parts of the base it was too late. I heard a roaring voice behind me.

“You think you can get away from me.”

I rushed even faster down the corridors; it was definitely turning into a jog. Fuck. Before I could even round the next corner my arm was pulled harshly back and slammed into the wall, the rest of my body following. I looked down to the floor, too afraid to meet his gaze, I was completely terrified. I prayed that someone would come this way.

He slammed his fist just above my left shoulder and my body instinctively flinched. “HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT!” He shouted, his voice echoing off the walls as a warning to anyone nearby.

Now no one was definitely coming to save me. I got the courage to meet his gaze, I’d like to have described it as defiance but I’m sure the fear was obvious in my eyes.

“WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN ANSWER BACK TO ME LIKE THAT,” I could hear his heavy breathing, “THAT YOU CAN DISRESPECT ME LIKE THAT,” he shouted.

I debated whether staying silent or saying something would anger him more. 

“Well-“ I replied back, sounding much more confident than I felt, “how dare you insult me in front of _my_ boss.”

Although I couldn’t see his face I could practically feel the fury in his eyes as his hand clasped up around my throat, pushing me up the wall so we were eye level. 

“Might I remind you _girl_ that you are beneath me,” he seethed, “I can do what I want.” I stared at him, his mask mere inches from mine, trying again to look defiant but so obviously defeated. 

It was true, no one gave a shit about me really; I’d learnt over the short time I’ve been here that everyone was easily expendable, even my superiors. I was struggling to breathe now, his hand getting tighter around my throat as tears clouded my eyes and my head pounded. 

Fuck. I tried to ignore the involuntary pulsing between my legs. 

Commander Ren’s head faltered slightly, he seemed unsure at what to do next. His hand gripped tight around my throat for a few moments longer until abruptly let me go, leaving me crumbling to the floor and gasping for air. He seemed as puzzled as I was.

“Don’t you dare do that again,” he added, before storming away. 

I’m not sure what caused him to leave but I thanked whatever it was. Physically I don’t think I could have handled much more of that, no matter how much the wetness between my legs told me otherwise. My head felt dazed and my breathing was ragged against my dry throat. Even in my pathetic state, I couldn’t deny that while I felt so scared, I also felt so turned on. I’m so fucked. I picked myself up off the floor, one hand resting on the wall for support and the other rubbing my neck. I closed my eyes and steadied my breathing until the aching in my throat numbed and my head no longer felt like it was on fire. 

What I did next I’m not proud of. Instead of going back to Command where I was expected I practically ran back to my room, feeling all the more disgusted as my hand furiously rubbed myself until I came. Again. And again. Maybe it was some long overdue stress relief, but the feeling of his hand around my throat just wouldn’t leave my thoughts no matter how many times I closed my eyes. 

If only he knew. 


	7. Chapter 7

A few days had passed. I had just finished an uneventful day of deliveries, but I was happy that at least I hadn’t seen Ren. Or maybe that was a slight lie. 

After finishing early I found myself sat on the ledge, thinking about the past few weeks, how boring my life had become apart from when his hand was around my neck. I’m not sure whether I was just completely sexually deprived or bored, maybe both? But I was having trouble not thinking about it. What else was there to think about?

I’d seen Ren a few times since, but he hadn’t spoken a word to me. Well, it’s not exactly like we were _best_ buds before, but now he seemed openly bothered by my presence. Every time I saw him, whether in Hux’s office or Command he purposefully didn’t acknowledge me, not even a glance my way. _He_ was the one with the hand around _my_ throat so I’m not sure what I could have done to bother him so much. 

Maybe before I’d come to Starkiller I wouldn’t have focused on it so much, but my job meant I had way too much time to think about things. Something else that’s been plaguing my thoughts recently is how Alysha won’t stop talking to me about Mika! I’m confused as to whether she thinks he likes me or she’s in love with him herself. I wouldn’t trust him as far as I could throw him, and he was a big guy. 

“Hey! I – uh – I didn’t realise anyone else knew about this.” 

I turned around from the view to see Kirk stood hesitantly at the stairs.

“Oh- Hey!” I stumbled back.

He smiled but stayed cautiously on the top step, unsure of what to do next. I liked him, he seemed kind even if he was often overshadowed by Mika’s overwhelming personality.

“You can join me, if you want?” I said, I really wouldn’t mind the company. 

He tentatively sat down opposite me on the ledge, legs crossed while mine were stretched out. 

“Beautiful,” he said, and I had to agree. When you spend so long encased in a world of black tiles and steel even a simple snowy view is enough. I missed my old base, not Olle of course, but at least there was some greenery. It was difficult to even picture now, or maybe that’s because my head was so full of other _things_. 

We sat in silence for a long time but it was one I didn’t want to be disturbed, it was nice being left to my thoughts while not being completely alone. Both Mika and Alysha were great but there never seemed to understand or enjoy a comfortable silence.

After a while, however, I did start to get quite hungry.

“Did you want to maybe get some – um food?” I asked. He looked at me quickly and agreed.

We made our way to the dining hall and sat in our usual spot, Mika and Alysha joining us not long after. I felt better after catching up with everyone, and it made me happy that I had spent some time with Kirk. 

“Guess what _I_ found out today?” Mika said proudly, looking at us expectantly.

“What?” Alysha replied in mock enthusiasm.

He rolled his eyes and focused his attention on me and Kirk, “apparently, well my sources tell me,” he smiled mischievously, “Commander Ren can read minds.”

What? 

“Everyone knows that,” Alysha answered back, clearly not impressed with Mika. Kirk and I, on the other hand, were shocked.

“What- I mean – How – where did-?’ Kirk stumbled on his words and before he could even finish Mika interjected.

“A stormtrooper I got talking to told me, said he witnessed him interrogating a prisoner or something.”

Wow. That was impressive, I never doubted that he would be good in battle, he seemed as much – but being able to _read minds._ How could one even-

“Apparently it’s a force thing,” Mika answered, as though he could read mine. 

I must be careful around my thoughts next time I’m near him, I wouldn’t want him to hear me insult him or something. Or worse, imagine if- wait - fuck. 

I couldn’t help but think of that time in Hux’s office when he said ‘you will’ and I had no idea what he meant. Surely that couldn’t have been in reply to what I was thinking? I couldn’t remember what my thoughts were, but I remember the feeling at least regretful of what I’d said. Did he read my mind then? No surely, he wouldn’t have, he would have said something. 

But if he read my thoughts then, would he have read my mind other times? I would know though, wouldn’t I? Surely you could tell, someone couldn’t just do that. 

“Can you tell if he – or someone – reads your mind?” I asked.

They all looked at me oddly, they’d definitely moved onto a different conversation and I hadn’t noticed. 

“I – I don’t know,” Mika stumbled back, giving a look that I couldn’t quite decipher to Alysha.

My thoughts went back to the other day when he was choking me in the corridor, _again_ , and my mind had wandered back to – well explicit thoughts. _Private_ thoughts. No. gods no.

Fuck. Np, it’s fine he didn’t. He couldn’t. I mean he would have said something, wouldn’t he? Would he? But he did leave, he left very quickly, and I didn’t know why at the time – maybe it was because -

“You okay Luci?” Alysha asked, disturbing the rising anxiety in my chest.

Oh, I’m going to cry, I’m so embarrassed. What if he has? What if he thinks I’m some weird horny girl that likes it when he chokes her? My mouth became noticeable dry and the spiralling of my thoughts seemed to cloud my vision. This is too much. 

“I’m going to go back to my room,” I said quickly and left the table, praying that I wouldn’t see him before I got back to my room. I didn’t. 

After a slight breakdown in my room, I managed to rationalise that it might not be as bad as I first thought. So he _may_ have read my mind in the office but other than that I had no idea and if he had why hadn’t he mentioned anything to Hux? Gods, the thought of whatever conversation that would be give me shivers.

Whether this was blind optimism or not I needed to pretend like nothing had happened and it was fine. Maybe this was the wakeup call I needed to get my mind out the gutter and stop thinking about him in that way because honestly, it wasn’t healthy. Some definite authority issues there. He may _or may not_ know and if he does, then he hasn’t said anything so its fine. I bet he’s probably as embarrassed about it as I am. Or maybe he gets it all the time anyway, I can’t be the only one around here who has a thing for choking?

At that moment Alysha came bursting in. She looked worried.

“Hey- you okay?” she asked as she sat next to me on my bed, “you left real quick?”

I looked at her, closely. She was so kind and caring and I truly trusted her with my life. But - there is no way in hell I could tell her the truth. O _h don’t worry Alysha I just think that the Commander may have read my mind of how aroused I was when he was choking me. No biggie._

“I’m fine,” I convincingly lied, “it was just a long day.”

“Huh, I’m sure,” and she smiled at me, a knowing smile that she didn’t believe a word I just said. 

“I bet I know what it is.”

I couldn’t help but go red at the thought of her knowing. That would be one lucky guess if she got it right.

“I bet you’re worried that Ren has read your mind when you were thinking shit about him.”

I chuckled back, gods I wish that was what I had been thinking.

“Okay - yeah maybe a bit of that,” I lied again.

“I wouldn’t worry,” She wrapped her arm around my shoulder and squeezed me playfully. “I promise you I’ve thought worse,” and she laughed. Oh I highly doubt that.

She got up from my bed and lazily stretched upwards, “I’m going to shower before bed, you don’t mind do ya?”

“No, not at all.”

I got changed quickly and was wrapped in my sheets before I knew it. Alysha was right, I really shouldn’t worry - I need to just not think about it too much. I slowly tried to relax every tense muscle in my body, melting into the mattress while taking drawn out breaths. My rushing thoughts were now moulding into a comforting blackness that crushed any last thoughts of worry. With my anxiety now unhealthily supressed it wasn’t long before I managed to drift off to the calming sound of rushing water. Tomorrow would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay on this chapter, I have all my semesters deadlines at the moment so everything is a bit aaa. SO thanks for sticking with m 😊


	8. Chapter 8

After my embarrassing realisation a few days ago I’d managed to settle into a comfortable routine of keeping my head down and getting on with work. There had been a slight buzz around the base over the past few days which had helped distract me and today was no different. In fact  _ today _ the base seemed busier than usual; the halls were constantly packed with marching stormtroopers – I didn’t realise we had so many soldiers. 

My work has recently involved writing up attack preparations with Hux. His trust in me must have grown because he’d been telling me much more than usual. Apparently, an agent has managed to decipher some coordinates from the Resistance base on Brentaal and so they’ve been preparing to mount a full-scale assault. This had left me busy in scheduling the preparations with Hux, Captain Phasma and the Commander.

Speaking of Ren, I’d obviously seen him a few times, but I still wasn’t able to look at him properly since my whole mortifying discovery. I’m not sure I’ll ever  _ not _ be traumatised at the thought of him having read my mind. And what he might have heard. Kill me.

He was carrying on with disregarding my existence as usual, so I don’t think he even noticed my worried expression every time he entered the room. It had also made extremely conscious of my own thoughts. And when you know you shouldn’t think about something it only makes it that much harder not to.

I’d reported earlier than usual this morning and at once I was helping Captain Phasma and the General to write up an itinerary for tomorrow. I think that’s when the attack is going to take place. General Hux then set me the important task of delivering some last-minute plans to the Hangars. Very  _ vital _ stuff. I was on my way to Captain Lowry completely oblivious to the loud sound of footsteps when I saw  _ him _ approaching me in the corridor. He strode past completely unperturbed and I kept my head down hoping he wouldn’t notice me. Luckily, he walked right past. Thank the gods. I grabbed the pad tighter as I unconsciously walked just a  _ little _ bit faster. 

“Stop.” 

That didn’t last long. 

I stopped immediately and turned around; I wasn’t pushing my luck this time. When I did he was right in front of me, the sheer closeness of him just unnerving me. A shiver ran all the way down my spine, I flinched. He looked down.

He chose his words carefully, “I need you to deliver this to Hux.” I wasn’t sure if he even wanted a reply but when I failed to say anything he added, “immediately,” and held out a datapad. 

I couldn’t exactly say no  _ but _ I’d just left Command and I’d look stupid returning without delivering what I was supposed to. I could hear the insults already. No thank you. 

“Of course,” I stuttered, “but – um - first I need to deliver- “ 

“Did you not hear me, I said immediately.” He interrupted; his monotonic voice betrayed a hint of annoyance. 

“Yes of course – um - but I -”

“I thought I made it clear where I stood on your disobedience girl,” he spat out the last word venomously.

“Well yes – but um – you”

“Why are you so insistent on disobeying me?” he said slowly. 

His slight annoyance had clearly grown to anger as he gripped the datapad tighter. I really needed to start doing what he said straight away. Still, if he wasn’t so stubborn and would just take a second to listen to me. An annoying and  _ completely _ untrue voice in my head told me that it was because I  _ liked _ pushing him – definitely not. Nope. 

“Are you even listening to me?”

Fuck. 

He moved just a few inches closer and raised his hand up threateningly as if he were about to grip my neck. 

“Is this what you want?”

His words instantly made me blush and my effort to stop the blood rushing to my face only made it worse. I would have gasped if I were breathing at all. What was I supposed to say to that? Of course not. Right?

“No – of course-”

“Would wrapping my hand around your throat make you listen.”

I couldn’t speak. His hand moved just slightly closer to my neck, hovering just a few centimetres away. I resisted the urge to close the distance. My heart was beating rapidly as this unnerving tension seemed to grow, I was at the mercy of whatever he decided to do next. 

“After all,” he hesitated for just a few brief seconds, “I know you enjoyed it last time.”

Fuck.

If my cheeks could have gotten any redder they would have, but I also couldn’t deny the slight wetness that had developed between my legs. Perfect. Apparently, we  _ love _ a bit of humiliation. 

He was definitely enjoying this. Sadistic, just what I thought. And now it was practically confirmed that he’d read my thoughts that day,  _ perfect _ . He regarded me for a second, I was unsure whether he was waiting for a reply or trying to think of his own, before he dramatically retracted his hand, thrust the datapad into my arms and strode off into the opposite direction.

At once my shoulder fell and I leaned back into the nearest wall. I took a huge intake of breath and rubbed my blushing face with my trembling hands. What was that? I was both relieved and surprised that he didn’t say anything else. He probably knew that leaving ‘that’ in the air was worse. The knot in my stomach wouldn’t loosen no matter how many times I paced the corridor. Just when I think I’ve sorted myself out he has to fuck me again. Well not literally  _ fuck _ , that would be a different story.  _ Wow _ , I needed to stop this train of thought. 

I wanted to ignore his request, but I think I had taken as much of Commander Ren as I could today. I dejectedly made my way back to Command and taking my time so that when I arrived I wouldn’t look so flustered. Although Hux was at first displeased once he had read whatever was on the pad he rushed off, maybe this was the best thing to do. 

After my deliveries, I returned but it was empty. I paced the room for a while and there was only so much tidying you can do in a room that’s always spotless. I decided to sit on the surprisingly comfortable sofa, put my feet up and admire the gentle drops of snow outside.

I still can’t believe he teased me like that, well I’m fairly sure you could call that teasing. He didn’t seem as disgusted as I thought he would be if he knew, he  _ seemed _ to enjoy it actually but maybe that was taking it too far. It was difficult to tell, there was only so much you could guess without seeing his face.

I wondered about that, what was underneath that mask of his. Some people, mainly Mika, said that he wasn’t even human but some kind of mind-reading robot that the New Order had developed. While I guess he did come across as robotic he still seemed slightly emotional – they’d never let a robot get that angry all the time. Some people, well Mika again, said that alternatively maybe he was badly disfigured, so he wanted to hide his face. Maybe? No matter what Mika said whenever I thought about him I always pictured a handsome face. Or maybe that was because I was too embarrassed at the thought that I’d been longing over a robot. I bet he had- 

The door opened, General Hux walked in. 

“Follow me,” he said curtly and before I knew it I left my daydreams, trailing behind him closely.

We walked in silence and I could only guess at where we were going, was I in trouble? After a while I realised we were heading to Hangar 3, maybe we were going to see Lowry? When we arrived, we headed straight for Commander Ren’s ship, I guess not. I remembered it from when I had complimented it he’d ignored me. That was fun. 

Hux strode up the ramp and I followed him, now I was really starting to worry that I was in trouble. Why wasn’t he saying anything? Had Ren said something? I was both extremely confused and also trying to push down the anxiety of being on a ship. 

Inside, to my surprise and embarrassment, was Commander Ren; he was nonchalantly stood in the corner holding a datapad.

“Commander,” Hux said dryly, “I hope you don’t mind us joining you.” He sounded as if he were relishing in how much he would  _ not _ enjoy it.

Ren looked up briefly, before replying with a simple “no.” Always so talkative. 

I glanced his way but was still too embarrassed to allow my gaze to linger. Great! My two favourite things – flying death traps and Commander Ren. 

He caught my glance but then didn’t look away even when I was trying so hard to focus my stare onto the floor. I sat nervously, massaging my aching temple, I hated flying. I hated this. At least now the anxiety of flying was replaced with the anxiety of receiving the Commanders attentions. Would he say something to Hux? No, surely he wouldn’t. 

“General,” he said, and my heart instantly went to my throat. Fuck. I was going red at the mere thought of what he was going to say. He looked at me for less than a second, but it felt way too long. This is it. 

“Yes?” the General replied when the Commander failed to follow up.

“Actually,” he said, “it doesn’t matter,” and went back to reading his datapad. Probably content that he’d ruined my nerves and annoyed Hux at the same time. Dickhead.

The journey was apparently going to be short, but I still had no idea where we were going. Another ship, a planet? While this situation wasn’t great I could at least look forward to a change of scenery. We left Starkiller and made the jump to hyperspace in little time, but it still wasn’t going quick enough for me.

My heart was beating faster by the minute, and the more conscious I was the worse it was getting. We need to get there soon. My nerves have had an awful time today.

Ren seemed similarly impatient, no longer giving me any attention but focussing on harassing the pilot on how long it was taking. Although I never completed my training I knew that there wasn’t anything you could do to speed this up. Still, I appreciated that someone agreed with me,

Before the Commander could utter another word the ship suddenly came to a stop. Finally. 

I didn’t think my shaking knees could take me standing, so I strained from my seat to see where we’d ended up. From what I could tell it looked like we were in the midst of a fleet and heading towards a Destroyer. Were we near the Resistance base? Was this the attack?

We boarded the ship without issue and both Hux and the Commander seemed confident on their way around. Clearly, they’d been here before, but I was absolutely clueless. While it wasn’t close to rivalling Starkiller this ship was definitely huge and the halls were busy, clearly, something important was happening. 

I kept my pace behind the two who were hastily walking towards  _ somewhere _ , an entourage of stormtroopers and crew joining me at their heels. My anxiety from before was starting to settle thank the gods. It was probably helped by my amusement at people’s reactions to the pair in front. Most looked up at the General but none dared to look directly at the Commander. I didn’t blame them though, it’s not like any of my run-ins with Ren had worked out that well for me. I had gotten used to the bark of the General but I still felt unsettled every time Ren looked at me, among other things. But we’re not thinking about that right now. 

Everyone else had left when I found myself before large steel doors, two Stormtroopers jumped to attention upon seeing us in view. Hux stopped and turned to look at me, Commander Ren didn’t. He gestured towards one of the stormtroopers standing guard.

“He’ll take you to your room,” he said, “be in Command at 0600 tomorrow”, and with that, he left, the doors closing finally behind them. 

I followed the stormtrooper in a pleasant silence. A room? How long am I going to be here? How considerate of him not to tell me anything; I bet Alysha will worry that’s something has happened to me. What a prick. 

The ship seemed to be more logically laid out then Starkiller and I spent the walk trying to remember the route we’d taken. This wasn’t the change of scenery I had been hoping for.

Before long we stopped outside a door which the stormtrooper then gestured to. I stayed stuck in place. At the expense of sounding stupid, I had to ask.

“Where- um- where are we?” I stammered.

“The dorm area,” they said and turned to go.

“Sorry yes - I mean um on what ship?” 

If I could see their face, I know it would be a giving me a puzzled look. How could someone get here and not know where they were. I had to agree.

“The Finalizer,” they said. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to get a little hotter between them...

The room was okay, kind of similar to mine back home really. Home? I guess Starkiller _is_ home now. How sad. While it was much bigger than the one I shared on base, without the warmth of Alysha the room felt so empty.

When I reported to Command the next day I was set straight to work in Hux’s office, writing up plans and notes – all that fun stuff. The assault started at 0700 hours and from that point onwards I was extremely busy with my assistant ‘duties’. Hux stayed on the Finalizer to coordinate the attack while the Commander took charge from the ground; the two were in constant communication from Command and I was tasked with giving updates to Hux. I didn’t get to see much action but from the large windows, I did see some explosions on the planet, hopefully from our side. 

After the first few day’s things quietened down and it seemed like the initial attack was over with. From the reports I’d read and from what Hux had told me it had been a success.

Although I was just an assistant I still felt that I could be more useful, I did ace my Strategic exam at the Academy. I couldn’t decide whether it was that Hux didn’t trust me, or thought I was incapable of understanding anything more than deliveries. Probably both. 

I was there for exactly a week when Hux told me that tomorrow was our last day and I couldn’t have been happier. The week had been completely boring, especially without having Kirk, Mika, or Alysha around. I wish that I had some exciting stories to tell them when I get back but a whole load of nothing had happened to me. 

I woke up reinvigorated with energy at the thought of finally get back home and being able to see everyone again. Who knew I would miss that big old steel base so much? 

I showered and changed with plenty of time to spare, it took me long enough to find my way around Starkiller let alone a completely new ship and I didn’t have Alysha here with me. _Alysha_. I miss her. 

I begrudgingly made my way to Command on time and Hux was there already deep in focus, I wondered if he ever slept? I’m not sure why but the thought of him sleeping, in a bed, creeped me out.

We went through his briefings and prepared his daily broadcast, today we were announcing back on Starkiller of our ‘glorious’ victory on Sla’trow – how we made a devastating blow to the Resistance that had fatally crippled their forces. Well, kind of. I’d read the reports with Hux, it seemed that while the attack was a success many had still managed to escape, and the First Order wasn’t without losses. But what did I know, I was just an assistant? 

When I got back from my break I entered the office to see a flustered Hux. He looked mad, what’s happened now?

“I need you to help Commander Ren.”

Wait. What? I sat down in shock.

“Sorry, sir –”

“You’ll find him in his office” he replied, “he asked if I could ‘ _spare’_ you.”

I stayed sat down for a while, the anxiety starting to bubble up as I panicked over what was in store for me. This whole week Ren hadn’t mentioned anything about what happened on Starkiller, he’d actually been completely professional when I’d had to speak to him. But I hadn’t been alone with him yet, and whenever I was something _always_ happened. I stood up and made my way past Hux who sat staring at the pad on his desk, still angrily muttering under his breath. 

He’d specifically asked for me though. Why would he do that? 

I made my way over to the hangar; my heart was beating rapidly. Being alone with him, my anxiety was racing at the thought of it. The fact that he not only knew about my thoughts over the whole choking ‘incident’, but he even made a joke of it made me want to throw up. And now just as we were leaving he was requesting me.

I arrived at his office and didn’t hesitate to walk straight in, he was looking at the hologram of a map of some sort, studying it intently. So intently that it took him a long time before he even registered me standing awkwardly at the doorway. 

“Sit.” He commanded without as much as a hello, but I did as he said. I sat on the chair opposite his desk, my sweating hands fidgeting with the hem of my uniform. Let’s try and not piss him off this time. 

He regarded the map one last time before looking down at me, “Order these,” he said shortly, gesturing at a pile of papers on the floor before looking back at the map.

Order these? What does that even mean? It’s like he’s inviting me to annoy him with questions with a vague statement like that. 

Fine, I’ll just get on with it. I’m not going to ask any questions or answer back. Nope. Not again. 

I tried my best to get comfortable with sitting on the floor, my legs tucked by my side, while I pondered over the huge pile of documents, they looked old – extremely old and also not in my first language. Great, I’m going to have to translate these first. I decided to go through and label what each document was and then I could deal with organizing them later. A foolproof plan. I started to make my way through, slowly but surely. 

It’s not often that you see anything that’s not electronic now, so I was at least enjoying the change of pace. The documents seemed like old diary entries to me, potentially from an old Master but I couldn’t be sure. Whoever it was they seemed to be involved with the Jedi, I guess all the rumours were true. I hoped to find something interesting, maybe some Jedi secrets which is why I spent more time than I should be reading over them. Unfortunately, most of it seemed to be detailing the obscure planets they were visiting, what a shame. I’d have loved to ask the Commander, but I knew that wasn’t the smartest idea. And today I was being smart!

Hours went by and the Commander was still stood looking at the map, although he’d started to make notes. I was hesitant to break the silence, but I’d finished scanning through and I really needed to start ordering them. Here goes. 

“Commander Ren- um -I’ve gone through them,” I said, “how do you want them to be ordered?” 

That was polite, surely he can’t get annoyed with that. Maybe I’d be able not to piss him off, wouldn’t that be a change.

“In the _right_ order of course,” He replied, irritation evident in his voice.

In the right order? Is he joking? 

“Yes- of course -um - but alphabetically or-”

“I don’t care!” he snapped back. It really wasn’t that difficult a question, and it's not like I could just guess because then I’d definitely get it wrong. 

“Okay,” I murmured, “no need to be rude.” The cheek on this guy to constantly shout at anyone even when they ask him a simple question. I’m sure the First Order could afford to get him a therapist. I grabbed the first paper and -

“What was that?” he asked quietly, and my breath caught in my throat. No way he heard that. I continued organising, maybe it was rhetorical. 

“I said- WHAT WAS THAT?” he turned now, anger seeping off his body. Oh no, I’ve only gone and done it now. 

I’d never sounded so timid as when I answered back “just-just that – umm- you didn’t have to be so rude.”

I think he knew exactly what I said but it didn’t stop him from getting even angrier when I repeated it. 

“Get up!” he shouted, and I quickly climbed to my feet. He stepped forward and with a raise of his hand a force gripped around my throat, pulling me towards him until I was just a few inches away. My hands instinctively went up to try and loosen the grip, but it was pointless.

“Why must you insist on disrespecting me?” he seethed, here we are again – exactly where I said I wouldn’t be a few hours ago. I looked up at him now, afraid to say something in case it angered him more. I _definitely_ didn’t want that. Did I? No of course not. 

“General Hux clearly isn’t disciplining you enough,” He remarked. 

“He doesn’t have to,” I answered back. I might as well dig my grave even deeper while I’m here.

“And why is that?” he asked curiously. 

“Because he’s not as sensitive as you,” I said, completely regretting the words when they left my mouth, even more so when his grip tightened around my throat.

“Right”, he said, “it’s time you’re taught a lesson.” And in one smooth motion, the force on my neck was replaced with his hand as he pushed my face against the desk, my upper thighs hitting the hard edge. I struggled slightly but his strength made it clear I was not getting away.

I was now in a precarious position, my face pushed against the desk and my arse raised in the air – now would be the perfect time for someone to walk in. With his hand on my neck, he positioned himself to my side. My eyes strained but I could see him looking at me and I could guess what he was looking _at_. 

“I think,” he continued, “you need to learn some manners.” And completely out of nowhere a large hand smacked my behind. Fuck. That _hurt_. I couldn’t help but let out a small gasp.

“you,” and he smacked me again, harder this time, “need to learn some respect,” followed by another slap that shook the desk. His large hand rubbed my cheeks, the rough fabric of my trousers irritating the flushed skin underneath.

“you,” and he spanked me, “need to learn your place,” and again, one last time. I could hear him breathing heavily behind me, was he enjoying this? He wasn’t the only one. As usual, I seem to enjoy these ‘punishments’ much more than I was supposed to. I tried to ignore the wetness developing at my centre and its endless throbbing. Some dark part at the back of my mind told me that I wanted this and who was I to argue at this point.

Nothing happened for a while and our shared ragged breaths started to slow when his other hand reach around underneath my stomach and undid my trousers. Hold on a second -

In one smooth motioned they were pulled down, resting at my ankles. The spanking was one thing, but now I almost naked and completely on view to the Commander. Fuck. When I was worrying earlier about what could happen I hadn’t imagined anything like this. What’s even worse is that I knew that my pants were doing an awful job at hiding my arousal. Fuck.

He spanked me again, “you,” and again, “need to stop,” and again, “being such a filthy whore,” and once last time onto my bright red behind. Fuck. How can something hurt so much but also feel _so_ good, I felt like I could explode with the pressure that was building up inside me. This humiliating position seemed to make me enjoy it that much more. He really wasn’t wrong, was he. 

He rubbed my cheeks, admiring the handprints that were forming, before taking his leather-gloved finger and tracing the outline of my lips through my pants. No doubt there was an obvious wet spot. I gasped and tried to stop a moan escaping my lips. He stayed there for a while, behind me, just looking. I was completely on edge, hypersensitive to the small movements he was making. 

Suddenly he removed his wandering hand and then the other from my neck. “Sort yourself out and finish organising,’ he said, “chronologically” and then left at once.

I stayed there for a while, still trying to process what just happened. Had the Commander just spanked me? _Spanked_ me. Plus, I had enjoyed it and he _knew_ that. Did that really happen? At least I would have something to tell Alysha when I got back. _As if_. Even Alysha would think I had lost it if I told her.

I quickly realised that I was still in the same position that he had left me in and at any moment someone could walk in - I really did need to sort myself out, I’d have to process what happened later. I pulled up my trousers and the warmness from before was now positively stinging. Ouch. 

I knelt by the documents, since sitting was too painful, and finished organising them. I took my time wanting to calm myself before seeing the General, worried that somehow he could guess what happened. The warmth between my legs had only lessened slightly, I was definitely going to need to sort that out when I got back. I groaned out loud. What. A. Day.

Upon returning to the office Hux didn’t even let me speak before he said that we were leaving immediately. At first, I was worried that Ren had said something, but I very much doubted he would, how would that conversation even go? On our walk to the Hangar Hux made sure to update me on everything I’d missed, maybe I’d lost my sanity, but it felt like he’d missed me – or at least missed some company. Before I knew it we were boarding the Commander's ship again. It was noticeably emptier than our first journey and luckily it was also missing the Commander. Good, I thought, I don’t think I could face him so soon.

As if to spite me he boarded just seconds later, just as the ramp was about to be raised, he glanced my way briefly and resumed the position he’d been in when we first arrived. 

The pilot looked back from his seat.

“We’re having some issues with the hyperdrive,” he said, “this may be a bit choppy.” He looked at me, still standing and then urged “I would suggest sitting down.”

Great. As gently as I could I sat, meanwhile I could practically feel Ren smirking at me. That bastard. 

As promised the journey wasn’t particularly smooth, so I was glad I sat down, even if every bump caused me to grimace in pain. Never have I felt gladder that I didn’t have a desk job. 

I don’t think any day in my whole existence had ever been as long as this one, I couldn’t wait to get back home.


End file.
